< Addicted t'Purple. <body>
♥ Wednesday, March 18, 2009♥

hello once again. today was the day. so i didnt want to tell her how i really feel because i would be stopping her. and i also dont wanna tell her on the phone so i decided to tell on saturday the day of danceworks. anyway i dont feel right telling her the truth, but its not that i wanna lie. its just that i dont want her to feel bad and i'm really sorry i lied about my feelings but you will know on saturday. so here's the thing i was gonna be prepared for her to get mad at me but now i dont feel like telling her. but i have to because she is my best friend to me. but i dont know if she treats me like a best friend. argh! i just...oh nevermind. i cant take it no more. my heart feels like it has no more blood to pump through me anymore. i know i'm gonna die mentally not physically. but its just as bad. i hate this. i hate trying to tell her this i dont wanna hurt her and most of all i dont wanna hurt myself. i know that you have tried to ask me to hold on. but that's my limit. its no use all of this. i dont know why this happened to me. maybe i deserve it for all these years that i was selfish n didnt think of her or u. dont hate me. oh magic is never gonna work for me in life. and i will never believe in miracles and love at first sight after this experience. how many times of all of this. take me away from all of this.

~i'm a nobody~

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